Healing from PMADs

First off I have to thank everyone who read my previous post about my journey out of darkness. It has been read many times and I genuinely hope that I have encouraged or helped someone. The kind words that I have received and the sharing of stories has encouraged me. So thank you dear readers. 

I have been thinking about a new blog post for a while now. Its harder than I thought it would be. Do I write about my life as a stay at home mother? Or do I just write about something menial that may very well bore you to death? To be honest I really don't know what to write about but I'll try not to bore you all.

I've had to adjust to being a stay at home mom and honestly I'm still adjusting. I went very quickly from being a stay at home mom to a deeply depressed and anxious person. I left my job in December of 2014 and was pregnant by the end of February (I just didn't know it). There are many days I miss my job at the mental health hospital but at the same time I am very thankful that I am home every day with my girls.

I have come to realize that the further I get from Addy's birth the stronger I feel. I think part of that is because I have met some pretty awesome women. Women who have helped me to get out of my comfort zone. I find myself cancelling plans less and instead I'm trying new things. Because of them, I am becoming more outgoing. I am still not quite to the point where I will come up and introduce myself but I feel like I am getting to there. I think it is incredibly important for anyone that is going through a PMAD (Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder) to find a local support group or a local exercise group. Both of these groups have helped me so very much.

I am also taking steps towards being a healthier me. I have stopped drinking sodas, I'm limiting my sugar intake, and I am eating better. I realized the other day I haven't had a frappe in like 3 weeks. I use to have like 3 frappes a week (I know eeek). Looking back I think food esp. frappes were my way of dealing with my anxiety. And you know what I really don't miss them. I haven't given up sugar completely but I am trying. I joined our local Fit4Mom stroller strides group and I am loving it.

I also went to a counselor. Through my sessions I began to learn more about myself. I learned about my obsessions and compulsions. I learned about my anxiety and how its been a part of my life since I was a young girl. I am beginning to develop coping skills and ways to combat my OCD. It is hard and the compulsions pull at me everyday. I am becoming more confident as a mother and as a person. I find that counseling has benefited me in a way I never thought possible. If you've ever even considered it, give it a go.

I look back and I am able to see how far I have come this year. I have gone from someone who froze whenever I had to go to the grocery store with both girls in tow to someone who is beginning to enjoy getting out and doing things with the girls. This journey has made me stronger and a better mother. There were many times I wondered why God gave us Addy when he did; but I can look now and see that God knew what he was doing. Though the experience of what I went through wasn't pleasant it has taught me some important lessons and has awaken a passion in me.

Thank you again for all your support.
I'm a social worker, a mom, but most of all I'm a Christian.