Monday, February 23, 2015

2 Years Later...

So I can't believe I posted my last blog post almost two years ago...TWO years ago. It is official...I can't blog. But you know what, that is okay because in those two years something wonderful happened. I got pregnant and gave birth to this beauty. For the purpose of privacy, I will refer to her as "cutie" or "lamb". Here is a little update into my life.
 For 13 months, before I started this blog, my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant with no luck. I'd missed a lot of periods and was feeling very discouraged. That April I decided that we needed to take a break. I found myself a new doctor and set up an appointment for June 19th, 2013 to look into "helping" the process along. Late May, my husband and I went on a trip to visit his family in Missouri. During the trip, I was exhausted and very congested. I was pretty cranky/hormonal too. The day after we got home we were up early in order to get ready for a wedding. Aunt flow was supposed to greet me that day so like I'd been doing before every period I took a test. Can you guess what it said? If you guessed positive than you are correct.

I was finally pregnant. My husband was excited and I was glowing. But we had already decided that we would wait until after the first ultrasound to tell family. So for the next 8 weeks (really 7.5) my husband and I kept our mouths closed. We live nearby our families so we actually see them weekly. It was hard and by 7 weeks I was starting to feel pretty sick. It became almost impossible to keep the secret. Finally, our first ultrasound rolled around and we got to see our little cutie for the first time. It was so amazing seeing her little heartbeat. 

That evening we told our families and they were super excited for us. I shared the news with my parents by giving my mom some bibs. I told my oldest brother and wife over pizza and my middle brother and his wife over the phone (they live out of state). We used our nephew to share the news with my husband's family (during family dinner night). My husband and I secreted our nephew into a cute shirt that said he was going to be a big cousin. It took them a moment but once they realized everyone was congratulating us.

So for the next 7 months we waited for the day we would finally meet our little cutie. Then on February 4 of last year, our little lamb came into our life. She was 7lbs 8 oz 19.5 inches. She was perfect.

I felt blessed. I felt complete. But I also felt scared. All the sudden I was responsible for the this little lamb that God had blessed me with. I didn't know what to do. The first few weeks were hard. Little sleep and post pregnancy emotions took over. I think I cried every day for about the first month. I cried at everything. It was very exhausting. Slowly I regained control of my emotions and cutie began to sleep longer stretches. Life got a little easier. But then I had to go back to work and that was hard.

The first day I went back to work, I only worked half a day. I think I might have called my mom twice to check on cutie. It was hard leaving her. After that first HALF day I developed a whole new appreciation for moms who work full time. I don't know how ya'll do it. On the days I worked, it was a miracle if dinner got cooked. I was exhausted. Thankfully our little lamb was still small and napped a lot. But as that stopped and she stayed awake longer, work began to feel like a chore.

So in December of last year, I handed in my notice at work. That is right this Christian Social Worker is no longer working but you know what? That doesn't change who I am. I'm still a social worker. I'm still a Christian. But now I'm something else. I'm a mom.

For me, I don't miss working but I do miss the people I worked with. My coworkers are some of the best people I have ever know or worked with. I also miss my patient's especially those that I worked with on the geropsych unit. I miss the lessons that they taught me. I learned more for my elderly patient's than I learned in school. I hope one day to return to work but for now I'm content to raise my daughter.

This year has been wonderful so far. I've enjoyed staying home full time with my little lamb. There are so many fun things we get to do around town. I've joined a mommy friendly exercising group that offers classes for moms to bring their babies too. I babywear. I cloth diaper. I play with my daughter. I read to her from God's word and teach her about the things that God has made. I love my life and for the first time I feel at peace and stress free.

So there you have it world. That is why I haven't blogged in two years. I can't promise anything but I hope to start blogging again. I've got some ideas about what I want to blog about. I've eluded to some in this post. Until next time.

Sincerely,
A Christian Social Worker MOM